The “D” Word: 3 month Update

Today marks 3 months since Diva was diagnosed with T1D. I can’t believe it’s already been 3 months. AND we made it through the holidays.

Diva is doing great (all things considered). She has already gained 6 pounds! Yes – she was under weight in part due to undiagnosed T1D. Now that we know and are “treating” it, she is much healthier – gaining weight, growing like a weed and has better color. She can almost check her blood sugar all by herself – although one of us is always there with her. It’s just nice that she is taking ownership of it and already at 5 wants to do things herself. She has let her aunts, an uncle and even some cousins help her check blood sugar. She knows she has to have insulin after every meal and she reminds us. Yes – our sassy Diva reminds us she needs an injection. Children are amazing.

Are the emotions still there? Oh yeah.

1. Blame and Guilt. Let’s be honest no matter what the doctor’s say I’m always going to feel a little of this. Even though I know it’s nothing we did and nothing she did. I guess I’ll just have to remind myself over and over that T1D cannot be prevented. Hopefully someday they will have a “cure”.

2. Sorrow. This emotion will always be there. It might not be as bad as when we first found out and it will probably keep getting better with time but I’m still sad that this is her new “normal”. Plus – while I gave her insulin yesterday morning it started bleeding and a bruise appeared immediately. I felt horrible even though Diva told me it was ok. When my husband came in from chores to take the kids to school she told him that I did a “bad job” and he was doing it tomorrow. The only reason I know she said this is because G-Money came up and told me. She didn’t tell ME I did a bad job and like I said told me it was ok. She knows it is hard on us and didn’t want me to feel bad. How sweet is that?!

3. Fear. This is pretty much exactly the same as when I originally posted. I am still constantly thinking of her numbers. I still think about it every night when I’m trying to sleep and it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up. Yep –still scared of everything about T1D.

4. Frustration/Mad. I think as time goes on this will switch from me being frustrated and mad to Diva being frustrated and mad. She asked me the other day WHY she got T1D. I told her that it just happened – there was no reason. Her pancreas just decided it didn’t want to work anymore. She looked at me straight in the eyes and told me to tell her the truth. It BROKE MY HEART. I told her that was the truth. That the doctor’s didn’t know why and that it wasn’t anyone’s fault. I still don’t think she believes me.

5. Happy. I’m happy that she is adjusting. I’m happy that she knows she has to have insulin and doesn’t really fight it anymore.

Diva showing off her new meter bag given to her by a really awesome family in the community – the mom in this family also has T1D.

I started this post yesterday. I went to check email this morning and I found this video before I got it to. What are the chances that I would see this video on Diva’s 3 month T1D anniversary? I have three words: Powerful, Scary, Understand. Take the time to watch and share. (Diva is still in the “honeymoon stage” – which means her pancreas is still partially working.)

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/inside-the-scary-battle-to-save-a-teens-life-a-109233855362.html

XOXO

~The Sheiliac